Years After My Sister Was Killed, Horses Healed My Soul
Present Day – February 2018
My Life has been an Illusion. You do not know Me, but, perhaps my Story is not so different from Your Story. There are differences between Us – the Bodies we occupy, the Experiences which shape our Thinking Mind, and the Path upon which we Walk. But, none of that is of particular significance you see, because, We Are the Same, You and I. We came from the same Place, and for a fleeting moment in Time, have this Life. We are in this Together; what you inhale, I exhale. We are interwoven within the very fabric of Existence, interconnected and united by our Wounds, Grief, Fear, Joy, Peace – our Shared Humanity.
Many Humans live their lives in the form of ‘half strides’, suffering Anxiety and Depression. The Wind of Change, or Awakening, generally appears when:
Our Mind has been Opened
Our Heart has been Broken
At the time of our Death
On 12 December 2003, my Sister was killed. Life as I knew it, was viciously torn apart, and my new life came screamingly Alive. The following Seven Year’s brought three separate Investigations into her Death. Nothing in my Life made sense anymore, so my Thinking Mind placed it all into a compartment, outside of myself. This was the only way I thought I could survive. Parts of my fragmented Soul left the Temple, as it was too painful to remain there. It would take a further 12 Year’s until my Body finally unplugged itself and collapsed.
I started having flashbacks from that Night and experienced the first signs of Grief. The fragmented parts of my Soul were trying to find their way back. The lid on the carefully-sealed Box was trying to open, and as I tried to repeatedly slam it shut, my Core was savagely ripped open, spilling out the contents of twelve years’ worth of unprocessed emotion. I was diagnosed with Complex Grief and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. I received Therapy, which, unfortunately, did not help me. I turned to Equine Assisted Psychotherapy as a last resort, and it saved my Life. The Herd of Horses – were led by an incredibly gifted Woman, called Elaine Noble. They worked through the Darkness with me, and brought me out on the other side. I was Taught to remove my Mask, be Authentic, to not be Fearful of Change, and to embrace Life again. As the herd silently spoke to me, they repaired emotional wounds and healed my Soul.
Horses are Prey Animals who mirror Human Emotion. Anxious Humans are similar; eyes darting, trying to perceive potential threat from every direction. Anxiety over what has already happened, and what is yet to happen, consumes our Thinking Mind, creating Sickness and Emotional Pain. The
Human ‘Survival Mode’ has its benefits, as we cautiously navigate our way through Life, trusting our intuition. It is our internal GPS and our Evolution as a Species has depended on it. However, the time has come to recognise the power our Thoughts have over our Mental Health. We have a
sophisticated Thinking Mind, and the possibilities for our Species are endless. The Task is to enable our Thoughts to work for us and to remove ourselves from a permanent state of Fight or Flight. The moment we realise that we are not our Thoughts and we are not what happened
to us (our Story), then we have already begun our Journey.
Many Humans try to exert Control over their Thinking Mind, which they view as the Enemy. The content of our Mind is NOT our choice; since Day One, our Mind has accumulated and stored everything we have experienced. This ability allows Humans to perceive and experience the Outer and Inner World, as it utilises information from our Past, to project into our Future, continuously calculating Risk to keep us Alive. Aside from our Beating Heart, this Thinking Mind enables us to Live; without it, we would perceive nothing, and Life would not exist.
As Sadhguru said, our Homes have Garbage Bins, which we cannot live without. Although we value our Garbage Bin enormously, if we decide to Live inside it, then we are asking for huge Trouble. The same can be said in relation to the Thinking Mind.
I bear no resemblance to the ‘Person’ who I thought I was; Love, Compassion, Contentment and Peace are familiar to me once again. I live Life in Alignment with my True Nature, and allow myself to be guided on my New Path. The desire to grasp and control life is now absent. Healing has brought me back to the Source.